mirror of
git://git.9front.org/plan9front/plan9front
synced 2025-01-12 11:10:06 +00:00
157 lines
4.6 KiB
Text
157 lines
4.6 KiB
Text
.LP
|
|
.ce
|
|
.ps 16
|
|
.CW
|
|
GREEN SQUARES
|
|
.R
|
|
|
|
.ps 8
|
|
.CW
|
|
tags: 1993, interviewer, pennis_mold, plinth_mold,
|
|
.br
|
|
wetbeard
|
|
.R
|
|
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
It was Plinth's turn to evince incredulity. Obviously, there was no
|
|
lighthouse at these coordinates, or at any other coordinates in the
|
|
general vicinity. The apparent reality of the situation did not mesh
|
|
with with common sense. The situation was untenable.
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
Plinth employed the use of a vintage chronometer, worn on his
|
|
wrist. Presently, he fingered the device as his lawyers booted up
|
|
their paperwork. "We're in the middle of the South Atlantic,
|
|
Wetbeard," he said. "Please explain."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Sir, I don't know where it came from. I looked down, and then I
|
|
looked up. From out of nowhere, it was there."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Well, what am I paying you for? Steer the ship out of its way."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Sir, that's what I've been trying to tell you. I\(em"
|
|
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"So, after you founded
|
|
'MATERIAL'\f(CW™\fR,
|
|
then what?"
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Plinth was impressed. I'd finally done something right. With his
|
|
encouragement, I went ahead and launched
|
|
TURBO FUCKIN': SENSUAL MAGAZINE\f(CW™\fR
|
|
as well as the fringe one,
|
|
SASQUATCH COLOGNE\f(CW™\fR.
|
|
Neither of them lasted long."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Hm. What went wrong?"
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Basically, I went to sleep one night and had a dream that God was
|
|
real. I mean, physically
|
|
.I
|
|
real.
|
|
.R
|
|
And I was lucky enough to be born as
|
|
His incarnation on Earth. I guess what was most difficult about the
|
|
whole episode was that I... Well, I actually believed it. I believed
|
|
in the dream wholeheartedly."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Haha, a foolproof source of information because dreams are so
|
|
often known to mirror reality."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Exactly. Heh. You know, don't ask me to explain it, but at the
|
|
time it seemed rational. Or should I say, intuitive."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Ah, I see. That old pratfall. Laid clean by the banana peel of
|
|
subjective cognition. I remember a time when I was forced by my
|
|
grandfather to drive one of those four\-wheeled automobiles.
|
|
.I
|
|
\f(CW™\fR,
|
|
.R
|
|
I believe they were called. I couldn't make sense of the steering
|
|
mechanism. No Tetris blocks, as we have today. My grandfather was
|
|
livid. He actually punched me in the shoulder! He couldn't believe
|
|
that someone my age would have no interest in piloting one of his
|
|
antique vehicles. What a laugh, right? I told him to just use his leaf
|
|
and order the groceries himself. Of course, by the time all of this
|
|
took place he had been blind for thirty years."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"What can I say. You only know what you know. If you can't trust
|
|
your own mind, what can you trust? The tactile leaf interface was
|
|
foreign to him; the car, not so much. Your grandfather probably
|
|
thought you were an idiot."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"And I, him. you have to admit that there was no real way he could
|
|
have taught me to drive, in his condition. He was not equipped for the
|
|
task. Just as in your dream, you conceived that the Green had been
|
|
made flesh. Believing yourself, in fact, to be an
|
|
.I
|
|
incarnation
|
|
.R
|
|
of the
|
|
Green, despite a complete lack of empirical evidence for your claim.
|
|
I'm sure you can see the parallel I'm drawing here. Both of you were
|
|
groping for an appropriate set of terms, clawing for a hand\-hold in
|
|
the cliff\-face of ambiguity that immediately blocked your path."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Okay, okay, you've got me there. Maybe I wasn't God after all."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
The boat lurched sharply, causing the walls of the mess hall to
|
|
reorient violently. The interviewer's laughter seg\-faulted into a
|
|
vague, restrained panic.
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"I don't like the sound of that."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Neither will my brother."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
Silence then, as Pennis rearranged his folders.
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Tell me again about God's peculiarities with regards to
|
|
intellectual property."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Oh yes. As God, I briefly refused to interact with humans on the
|
|
grounds that one of them might try to sue me... In the event that I
|
|
ended up creating something which too closely resembled one of their
|
|
fan fictions. Or
|
|
.I
|
|
prayers,
|
|
.R
|
|
as they were known."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Never mind the Scriptures, I guess! Was this before or after the
|
|
introduction of your DNA\-filtering condoms?"
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"Oh, long before. All of this happened before Plinth set me up in
|
|
the manufacturing business. This was even before the
|
|
RODS MAGAZINE\f(CW™\fR
|
|
lawsuits. I had yet to piss away my share of our father's fortune.
|
|
Plinth was still doing the action figures, partnered with that Swedish
|
|
fellow."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"I wonder if he's going to be happy to see you."
|
|
.PP
|
|
.ps 10
|
|
"He'll make it seem so. You see, I have physical possession of his
|
|
Green certificates. And we both know he wants them back."
|